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…and here we go

December 9, 2009

Didn’t sleep at all last night.  A supper of pasta, beer and cheesecake, nerves, anxiousness, excitement, and the prospect of saying goodbye to my family – it was all rolling around in my stomach and my mind wouldn’t shut off.  Goodbyes were full of tears, hugs were prolonged, and last looks were imprinted in the mind.  Things went smoothly until Chicago; fricking snow.  We were delayed for about two hours and therefore I missed my connection to Seoul at LAX.  I’ll be honest; I was an emotional wreck.  Found myself a bathroom stall and quietly cried and cried.  I just felt so helpless and out of control and maybe like I failed myself somehow? which is dumb, of course.  Thank goodness LAX chose to employ a certain beautiful older woman who answered my questions, steered me in the right direction and was empathic to the point where she almost threw in a curse word to describe United Airlines.  An angel of my day, for sure.  As I write this I still have to wait over two hours for the Asiana Airline desk to open; then another four hours until my flight leaves.  Thank goodness for free WiFi (which I didn’t know before when I paid some moolah to use a lounge).  But I suppose the money was worth it cause I ate lots of free snacks, free drinks, and took my boots off and spread out for a catnap.  Which was glorious.  I can’t recall how many Sukodu puzzles I’ve done in the past hour, or how many times I’ve made a fool of myself singing (silently, mind you) along with my iPod.  “Le Jazz Hotttttttt”.  Thank you Julie Andrews; how I love you.

I suppose this has all been an exercise in flexibility and how I apparently need to work on that.  I also should probably stop trusting air travel to be so gosh darn perfect and wonderful.

Thoughts on what is ahead:  I’m excited to be challenged, to have new experiences, try this teaching thing out, sharing with children and loving them, and also for the unknown.  It’s been interesting people’s reactions when I tell them that I truly have no idea what I’ve gotten myself into or what’s going to happen when I got off the plane in Seoul.  For me and where I’m at on my journey to become who I am meant to be – it feels perfect.

So…let’s JUMP!!!!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Peyton permalink
    December 10, 2009 3:44 pm

    Oh Bess, reading this entry brought tears to my eyes. By now you should be well on your way, and maybe even you have arrived! jump right on in and may you be blessed with an inability to look back but only to focus on what’s ahead! I love you and you are in my prayers. Those little children will be lucky to have you.

  2. December 15, 2009 6:27 am

    my dear Bess,

    i remember the feeling of saying goodbye to my family and then being full of anxiety on my many flights. everything you’re feeling is totally normal. and it gets better, i promise. i affirm your sense of being in the right place and ready to dive into the unknown–this is what you’ve been wanting for years! sending you lots of love…

  3. December 15, 2009 12:16 pm

    I love you, Bess.

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